I Give Up

Folks, over the last 7+ hours I have been through just about every emotional and psychological state when it comes to trying to form an opinion of Barry Bonds and his indictment. I will make no bones about it. I’m a Baseball fan, I’m a Giants fan, and I’m a Barry Bonds fan. And after being mad at baseball, being mad at Barry, feeling upset that this ever happened, and being mad at the federal government I think I’ve finally found where I stand on Barry Bonds being indicted…

I don’t care.

I really don’t. I don’t know Barry personally. Hell, I’ve never met him, had him sign a baseball, never. For 15 season he was the face and undoubtedly the best player on my favorite team. And during that time, he put up some amazing numbers, and created more drama than TNT and the girls you knew in high school combined. He was one hell of a ballplayer to watch, and he did his job… he entertained the hell out of me, San Francisco, and at times, the entire world.

But In The Clutch readers, he’s not a ball-player anymore. And I don’t care if he did or didn’t take steroids when he was playing. I could go on for so long weighing out the different pieces of the Bonds saga, but is it really worth it?

I know that Barry hit 762 home runs. If they want to take the record away, or throw an asterisk next to it to make themselves feel good, feel justified, feel like they are being proactive and actually helping the situation, I say go ahead. I don’t care, because I know what actually did happen, and I saw it on many occasions.

What matters is that what’s done is done.  I have no stake in Barry’s future, no vested interest.  I’m not a family member or a friend.  I’m just a fan of what he has done.  And as far as what is coming for Barry Bonds… I just don’t care.

Warren

Hey, Aren’t You That Guy Who…?

Yes folks, old habits die hard. And NFL players with big contracts, huge expectations, and millions of people watching are no exception. On Tuesday night, only hours after he was reinstated as a member of the Cincinnati Bengals, Chris Henry was back in the news. As you may remember, back in December of ‘05 the wide-out was pulled over for speeding, was found to have marijuana in his shoes, and oh yea, was driving without a valid driver’s license or insurance. A month and a half later, he was arrested on gun charges including concealment and aggravated assault. All of this prompted NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to suspend Henry for the first 8 games of this season. This brings us to Tuesday when he was involved in an altercation in the entertainment district of Newport, Kentucky. Henry reportedly parked their SUV without paying the fee required for the parking lot. When the attendant asked him to pay the fee, Henry yelled at the attendant “Don’t You Know Who I Am?!” and shortly afterward threw a 5 dollar bill on the ground and told the attendant to pick it up.

The response that I assume was provided by the attendant went something like “yea, I know who you are, aren’t you that guy who got into a lot of trouble off the football field and was suspended for half a season for being a dumbass?” Look, I hate paying for parking as much as the next person, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Also, shouldn’t a professional athlete such as Chris Henry be able to pay a $5 parking fee without thinking twice? I’m going to register a guess here that the SUV that was being parked had tricked out rims, maybe an Xbox 360 and a couple of screens, and some tinted windows. Are you telling me that paying for parking is such a financial burden on you that you should be able to pull the don’t-you-know-who-I-am card? Oh and by the way, note to Chris Henry, if you have to pull that card, it will get you nowhere. Either the attendant doesn’t know who you are, which means that you are not big enough to get free parking wherever you go, or he knows who you are but doesn’t care and isn’t going to let you off of the parking fee anyway.

And you want to talk about old habits dying hard, I guess the whole “not showing respect for anyone” habit hasn’t died for Henry. When you become a player in a major sporting league, you become a representative for that league. People associate things that you do with the reputation of that league, and that sport as a whole. Throwing a $5 bill on the ground and telling someone to pick it up shows a gross lack of respect. Henry was just trying to make the attendant feel like dirt, which is apparently what he thinks of his teammates and coaches, the NFL at large, and all of the fans who watch the NFL. The man has no dignity, he has no respect. And you want to talk about showing no respect to the man who suspended you, how about his response when he was asked about what he learned from the suspension… “I’ve been sitting back and going through this little stuff, my little suspension or whatever, and I’ve had a lot of time to sit down and think about everything.” Excuse me, you’re “little suspension or whatever?” You got suspended for half a season! This was not a “little suspension.” This was a big motherf***ing deal and you seemed to take it as nothing but a slap on the wrist.

Here’s my suggestion to Commissioner Goodell. The entire reason that you suspended this guy in the first place was that by breaking the law, multiple times, he showed no respect for his team, your league, or the game of football. The suspension was there to show him that he needs to gain a little thing that many people have (and unfortunately many others lack) called “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” (props to Otis Redding and Aretha Franklin). By attempting to pull the don’t-you-know-who-I-am card and throwing a $5 bill at the feet of an attendant and expecting him to pick it up, aaaaand by calling his half a season suspension just “a little suspension or whatever,” Chris Henry has shown that he is not worthy of being a somebody, an anybody, and much less, a player in the NFL.

Warren

Up By 72, And Going For Two

At this point you may or may not have heard of the beat-down that Smith Center’s High School Football team laid out last weekend. In their playoff game against Plainville, Kansas (insert your own joke here) Smith Center scored 83 points and allowed a whopping Zero en route to a nail-biting victory in a close game. Now you may be thinking to yourself, “That must be a typo, surely he doesn’t mean that an 83-0 win was close.” Well apparently it was through the eyes of Roger Barta, the head coach of Smith Center. How do we know this? Because he went for two, on every touchdown that his team scored. That’s right, when his team was up 64-0 with minutes still left in the 1st quarter of the game (oh, did i mention 72 of Smith Center’s points were scored in the first quarter?) Barta put up the two fingers signaling that he wanted his offense on the field to attempt to convert a crucial, game-defining, two-point conversion.

Now I must admit, upon hearing this I feel that I’m missing something very important in all of this. Because there has to be a good reason for Smith Center going for two every single time. Here’s what smells fishy to me. First is the fact that Plainville (repeat earlier joke again) coach John Petrie was completely O.K. with the two point conversions. I feel like must be the case because Petrie and Barta are friends or something to that of that ilk. Second, you look at a possibility of why Smith Center was going for two from an inverse perspective. Perhaps their team was lacking any players in possession of three things: a foot, a leg, and the ability to swing the combination of the first two in a forward direction, and was therefore unable to kick an extra point. But then you look at the box score of the game and realize that in the 3rd quarter, Smith Center kicked a field goal to put up their final insurance points. So they obviously had someone capable of going for one, but instead Barta put up the two fingers, even when his team scored their 2nd quarter touchdown while already up 72-0. So again, I feel like considering the reaction of the Plainville coach and the fact that Smith Center had a kicker, there has to be something I’m missing here, right?

Right??

Well, assuming that I’m not missing anything, this is completely outrageous, and I don’t think I need to explain my reasoning there. It seems to me like this is just a case of an overzealous High School Football coach getting way too wrapped up in the moment of his crucial, earth-shattering, playoff game. Oh by the way, did I mention that Barta is himself a graduate of Plainville High School? (I’ll make the joke for you this time) I guess when you come from a place as exciting as Plainville, Kansas, putting up two fingers is probably twice as Page 1 newsworthy as putting up just the one.

Warren

Disagreeing For the Sake Of Disagreeing

There’s some things in sports, particularly recently, that everyone should just be able to agree on right? Like the fact that Alex Rodriguez is the MVP of the American League. And that the Boston Red Sox are far superior to the Colorado Rockies. Now, this is sports, and we all love to debate any topic that is put on our plate, but one thing has intrigued me recently. That is the fact that even the most obvious and clear cut predictions can’t be agreed upon. Take the AL MVP race during the 2007 baseball season. From the end of April, when A-Rod was on pace to break the single season record for home-runs, and was hitting game-winning walk-off home runs in the process it should have been obvious that he was the most valuable player. He did finish the season with the major league lead in home-runs and runs-batted-in after all (.314, 54, 156). But not everybody could accept the obvious. Some said that Magglio Ordonez (.363, 26, 139) was an MVP candidate, and were willing to argue his position as the MVP over A-Rod’s. This to me was simply a case of disagreeing only for the sake of disagreeing. Rodriguez’s numbers dictated that he was a much better offensive producer than Maggs, but not everyone could agree on his MVP status. Silly, just silly.

Also take the case of the 2007 World Series. First off, everyone knows that the AL is far better than the NL. Then you look at what we knew before the Series. Boston was mostly comprised of members of the 2004 World Series Red Sox team. In fact, they have since added a more dominant closer, a $14 million man in right field, the greatest October pitcher we’ve seen in decades, and the man who has pulled at least the last 2 hidden-ball tricks in the majors. Colorado on the other hand, had momentum going for them, and that was about all they had that was in any way stronger than something of the Sox. And yet foolish people (myself included) tricked themselves into thinking that somehow Rocktober would extend through the World Series. I will admit that my only justification for picking Colorado was the fact that I didn’t want to be just like everyone else and pick Boston, even though I knew the Red Sox would win. I was only disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing.

The moral of this story? When something’s as obvious as an imminent Boston World Series win, or Alex Rodriguez being awarded the MVP award, don’t let yourself get caught up in disagreeing to disagree. Or hell, go ahead and disagree for the sake of it, I just hope you’re not the betting type.

Warren